Love live the Queen.

(more pictures here)

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life... but God heard the endless pleas for sunshine-- and so He granted.

Despite the forecast of a tropical storm on its way, the gray, depressing skies we woke up to finally gave way to clear, blue skies and the brightest sun...with rainbows.

Raiyna transitioned peacefully and was surrounded by so much love.

I'm still doubting this decision....and suspect I always will be.

It's so hard to believe that just a few months ago, she was running down the streets of our old neighborhood with Steve and chasing balls in the field we'd go to (if I threw them close by so she didn't miss 'em).

Life has thrown us SO many curveballs these last few years. The amount of loss (on every level) has been unimaginable. Yet, she moved through it all with the most extraordinary amount of toughness and grace - even with the losses she was experiencing individually.

Her decline has been hard to watch, but she never, ever let it slow her down. Until it did.

The hardest part has been watching her lose her independence. She'd get stressed if she didn't know where I was, and - though she had successfully mapped out the house in no time- had come to rely upon me to guide her around for things like meal time, bed time, and "on-the-clock" things. Slip leads were strategically stationed all around to do just that.

Not having her here, after nearly 16 years, is a new reality to get used to...and I don't want to.

It's hard seeing 3 bowls instead of 4.

Hard looking at her harness knowing she'll never wear it again.

Hard looking at the front door (one of her favorite spots to rest) without seeing her there.

Hard seeing her favorite donut bed... without seeing her in it.

Hard seeing the beds in the bedroom she'd bounce back and forth between throughout the night.

...it's even hard looking at tennis balls, which always ranked higher on the value pole than the finest cuts of steak to her.

To many, they're "just dogs."

To me, they were family.

Those who know, know.

There's this massive pit in my stomach - like I just got sucker-punched by the Hulk.

Raiyna was my girl. My only girl, and such an incredible dog. An amazing mix of strength *and* softness. Fierceness *and* extreme sensitivity.

It took an insane amount of --- I don't even know what ----- to make this decision ...then follow through with it.

I want to thank Steve, of course, for being there... holding me when I buckled.... talking me through.... and wiping the snot from my face with his shirt.

I also want to thank Tranquil Tails Veterinary Services, Inc. Who were so very gentle. Calming. And simply amazing. The appropriate amount of space was held and provided, nothing was ever rushed. Thank you all, most sincerely.

The boys got to come out, give her a sniff, and get a sense of closure themselves (when dogs pass, they emit a pheromone which helps the dogs left behind understand what's happening).

Raiyna, our Queen. You were our Rock of Gibraltar and were so deeply loved. Your spunk and sass will forever be missed.

Long live the Queen.