Grief and grieving.

“Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

Grieving is really a process; and - I don't know about you all - but, for me, has been a very (very) different experience than grieving for a human.

I'm working towards getting back to sharing behavioral insights and information on our social media channels, of course... this is what you're here for; but I'm still trying to adjust to this new reality, heal the hurt, and find my footing again. I pour a lot of myself into this work, and trying to carry on and do this from an ungrounded, scattered space feels... well, a bit fraudulent and inauthentic.

This is life. This is the truth. This is reality. And this is what we all will experience (in varying degrees) at some point, so I do hope our experience serves (and has served) someone in some way.

Raiyna seems to be doing relatively well, though she does appear to be looking around for Chip.

Levi has been more lethargic as of late... I find myself wondering if he's depressed? Is there something - an ailment? illness? - bubbling beneath his surface now? I pray not...

Franklin is... Franklin. As a super sensitive little man, he's aware of the shift in energy (I can tell), but continues to "keep the roof raised" and bring life to the household each day through his shenanigans and antics.

Todd's dementia seems to have kicked up and gotten worse, so my energy has been split between grieving and trying to heal, focus on (trying to) work, and making sure Todd doesn't hurt himself, walk on any sleeping dogs, etc. Yesterday was a particularly rough day for him (which means it was a rough day for all of us).

Everything seems to be so... fragmented now. When Chip was here, there was such a cohesiveness...the peace and comfort of "family"... a daily harmony... We were all, very much, a unit.

Today I head to an acupuncture appt. to help support my nervous system. Really looking forward to it, as the effects can be felt immediately. Will be going back to doing this on the regular again.