Today marks 12 weeks since Chip passed…
Today marks 12 weeks since our deeply beloved Chip moved on ahead of us. It feels like an eternity.... not a single day goes by that I'm not thinking of him. Some days weigh heavier than others and grief hits me like a 2x4 out of nowhere. There were many moments like that on the road trip to Oregon.
Ironically (or maybe not?), a beautiful picture of my little chocolate Chip sitting on a dirt trail in the middle of the woods - posing- from 7 years ago today popped up on in my "Memories" on my FB personal page today. The woods were his happy place, and I find myself feeling so very sad I allowed the business and all of my "have to's" turn our romps in the dirt into walks on the pavement. Our wooded adventures and explorations were replaced with navigating tightly shared spaces with reactive people and reactive dogs. Our peace was replaced with being on edge and anxiety. While it did force us to hone certain skillsets and "real world" maneuvering, we've all missed the type of tranquility and replenishment that only the forest can provide. Never again.
Since our return from the road trip, we've been back in the woods every single day (2 - 3x a day), and I've noticed a remarkable difference in my anxiety level. Even that of my dogs, especially with all that's gone down these last months.
One of the first few pictures with Chip and the Todd-father laying on the couch looking into each other's eyes is one of my favorites. Chip was very sick and this was taken within days of his departure. I can only imagine the conversation that was being had between the two of them. Little Todd was always around Chip in Chip's final days (even despite struggling with dementia). Always sitting next to him, laying next to him..... just.... with him.
The bond this group of dogs and I share is deep and very, very special. To many, they're just dogs. To me, they truly are family.
There's another picture of Chip and one of our "Mini Pack Leaders", Brian. The two of them also had a special bond. The kids would always fight over who got to walk Chip... though it always ended up being Brian : ) They'd run off and do "puppy parkour" together.... going down slides, scaling walls, etc. Chip inspired Brian to want to be a dog trainer when he grows up... and, now, he and his family have a dog of their own.
Dearest Chip: it terrified me to think of "life" without you. You'd been such a huge part of it for so long. While I'd still much prefer you being back by my side, I know that's not the way life works. You were such an incredible gift, and a partner in every way a dog could be to a human. Thank you. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the light that you were (are). Thank you for everything you revealed and taught through your time with me. I love you. Deeply. Always and forever.
