The importance of “the human end of the leash”
No one alive is exempt from experiencing trauma.
While there are different forms of trauma, the most prevalent is emotional trauma.
Human beings are emotional creatures... yet we don't "do emotion" well. And we're teaching our children the same thing. It's generational trauma that continues to trickle down the line, and create future adults who "don't do emotion" who may raise future children who don't feel seen, heard, understand, and worthy of this kind of attention.
We run from big, heavy, intense, and uncomfortable emotion. We avoid it. Silence it. Shut it down. Numb and suppress it. Discharge and offload it onto others or other things.
We don't know how to put language to it, express it, or hold space for it.
What does this have to do with dogs? Everything.
Our emotional health impacts all who look to and depend upon us.
It influences...
: our responses,
: our reactions,
: how we show up... IF we show up,
: how coachable we are and how we receive/interpret information,
: how we perceive --- *everything*,
: the words we choose when we speak,
: our behaviors (many of which are developed in an effort to feel *safe*),
: our self-talk,
: our beliefs and filters,
....and much, much more.
When we become more curious about ourselves instead of judgmental, and invest in cultivating a deeper understanding of ourselves --- why we say and do certain things, behave in certain ways, react, procrastinate, judge, assume, isolate, etc.... we're indirectly serving and helping others. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
When we better ourselves, we indirectly better those who are looking to and depending upon us. We better our businesses, work, and all that comes through us.
This is why working on "The Human End of the Leash" is of great importance.
The traumatized part of ourselves will do anything to keep us safe. It will block, create ceilings, resist, deny... which, in dog training, shows up quite a bit.
People want and know they need help, but may resist it.
I've found that those whom are open and actively doing their personal work have been **the most successful** in their "dog training." They see the part they may have played, and are open to feedback and making the necessary adjustments. They also have a willingness to learn, grow, and improve.
Every relationship teaches, but the relationships we have with our dogs are unique in how they do so.
We're all doing the best we can with our current level of awareness. If there's one thing I know about "life", there's always going to be another layer to explore.
The work we do with people and their dogs has been described over and over again as "completely transformational" and "life changing." There are two ends of the leash. We're in relationship with our dogs. Both ends need to be addressed for the most effective behavioral change. If we believe it's "just the dog" that "needs training", any "results" we achieve will be very limited.
