The 5th Big Human Thing that Contributes to the Big Dog Things

Big Thing #5: Worry, Fear, and *Anxiety.* The 3 Stooges.

What's the difference? Although all are interrelated....

Worry is a temporary feeling about a situation, problem, or something that may or may not come to pass. The state of worry is a choice and a chosen focus.

Fear is more involuntary, and is a natural reaction to a specific, observable threat in the environment.

Anxiety is persistent, and is a reaction to our *emotions* / how we feel about something that may or may not come to pass rather than an actual observable situation or event. It's chronic worry; worry in overdrive.

When it comes to dogs, it's not so much "who's leading who" as much as it is *what is leading*. Is it worry? Fear? Anxiety? Or maybe impatience? Frustration? Nervousness? Stress?

While dogs will come to the table genetically pre-disposed to some things and are simply wired a certain way (as we are), *we* are responsible for shaping, building, and conditioning what they *don't* come to the table with... and enhancing and playing up OR chipping away at and playing down what they *do* come to the table with.

We play a most impactful role in developing our dogs' perceptions and associations. How we perceive and react or respond to things. How we handle ourselves in certain situations. They're always watching, observing, and taking in.

Dogs know who we are. Behind the smiles, the labels, the titles, the handbags and shoes.... behind the various masks we wear. All we bring to the table; and we'll often see highlights of this in their behavior.

One of the best things we can do for our dogs is to return to ourselves. Work to understand the truth behind what's coming up for us. Get curious about, befriend, and embrace our emotions (remember, they're information); not judge, criticize, avoid, rage, shut them down, shut them off.....

We may not be responsible for everything that's happened to us, but we are responsible for healing the impact it's had on us...not just coping with it. Healing and coping are two entirely different things.

Dr. Frank Anderson, trauma expert, has this amazing quote: "Children will take responsibility for all the things their parents can't."

Wow.

Really sit with that.

I'd even go as far to say that they'll take responsibility for all the things their parents **won't**, as well. Big difference between "can't" and "won't".

Children and dogs will often take on --- and reflect back to us ---what we're avoiding, silencing, and simply not dealing with.

As adults, we may also end up in relationships that mimic and reflect relational patterns we have yet to heal, process, and address.

Same open wounds, same patterns, different outfits.

Oftentimes, especially in the case of anxiety in dogs (general, social, or separation), there's usually a level of anxiety at the other end of the dog's leash. Since PackFit specializes in behavior, I can honestly say that with the countless of human-dog outfits we've worked with, this has been evidentially true time and time again. Especially when it comes to the more sensitive dogs who end up in these relationships. Again (and you'll hear me saying this time and time again), this is why I call this work "inadvertent life coaching."

We're always teaching. Every moment, every day, every way.