Anxiety.

This is a topic near and dear to my heart as it's one I have intimate relationship with.

Anxiety.

While anxiety has always been around, we've seen a massive uptick of it especially over the course of the last few years... on both ends of the leash.

Social anxiety, separation anxiety, and general anxiety.

Anxiety is teaching anxiety, whether we realize this or not.

Both dogs and people can be hardwired for anxiety if the mother was anxious while babies were in utero. Anxiety is also born of trauma; and no living thing alive on this planet is exempt from trauma.

As children, we watched how those who were raising us dealt with their emotions. We watched them shut down and shut off. Escape and numb through excessive : drinking, tv watching, smoking, drugs, shopping, gaming... even exercise. We watched them throw or punch things through fits of anger. We watched people shrink in their space, get really quiet and passive, and yield. We watched emotion through explosion and also cold, dead silence.

The most common form of trauma today is emotional trauma. Not having our emotional needs nurtured as children. Not being acknowledged or validated during times of intense or big emotions -- simply because there wasn't an existing understanding or comfort level with doing so. While the intention may not be to cause the young person trauma, our rampant inability to sit with uncomfortable, "negative" emotions, handle and deal with these negative emotions, hold space for someone else experiencing these types of emotions, or put words to our own emotions is impacting and feeding their self concept. The beliefs they hold about themselves. Their level of worth. Level of safety. Also their perceptions and interpretations. We grow up thinking "emotion is bad", "crying is weak", and other nonsense.

This pervasive culture of "toxic positivity" only worsens it. "Be strong," "choose to be happy,", "just think happy thoughts," "snap out of it- you got this," and so on. This only invalidates and diminishes people's experiences.....making them feel even worse and more ashamed if they struggle to pull themselves up and "snap out of it." Then, we try to “mask” anxiety with "fake happy", which carries a very different energy behind it... it's an inauthentic form of "happy" born of overcompensating to hide the truth...what's really being felt, what's really going on. Hiding emotion. Hiding our truth, our hurt, our wounds, our pain, our anger, our sadness.

We are always teaching. Directly and indirectly. And they (both children and dogs) are always watching. Taking it all on and taking it all in.

Our lack of emotional capacity, capability, and fluency is something that continues to pass on from generation to generation.

I could write an entire essay on this, but for the sake of (your) time and attention- I'll (try to) keep this relatively brief.

When anxiety is present, the 3 most common underliers are:

- uncertainty,

- lack of safety and security (in their own skin, in the world around them, in their relationships, in the home), and

- feeling unsupported.

Anxiety expresses itself in a number of different ways, as seen in the graphic.

The conventional way to deal with anxiety is through numbing and suppressing it through medication. Using it as a first, instead of a very last, resort. Stuffing it down and quieting it. I'm, personally, not a fan of using pharmaceuticals to deal with emotional or behavioral issues. All this does is speak to our inability to hold, sit with, deal with or handle emotional discomfort....especially if a child or a dog. We use pharmaceuticals because of the discomfort anxiety, emotional and behavioral issues creates. Pharmaceuticals don't treat the seed. They don't address where anxiety was born. The diet it was raised on, what was feeding it. The factors that continue to supply it. All it does is alter the body's chemistry, usually giving rise to a host of other issues. I've seen countless cases where medication was recommended and used for anxiety and other behavioral issues, with little to no effect.

When we see anxiety in a dog, I can pretty much guarantee there's a level of anxiety going on in the human/s at the other end of the dog's leash and in the home (the space where the dog spends most of his/her time in).

Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be afraid of. What it wants and needs is to be held and embraced, not shunned.

As I always say, "behavior is information".... and anxiety is no different. Anxiety also has a story to tell, and it's asking for us to listen.

I've been announcing some new projects and courses coming up, but one I'll be prioritizing is a "Relationship Remedy" Challenge. This will be speaking to the relationship we have with ourselves, and also with the world around us. Yes, to include our dogs. It'll have a focus on anxiety, its underliers, and ways we can improve how we're showing up. It'll also speak to what we can do to improve their levels of anxiety. Without the pills.

One of THE most common denominators in the cases we've been seeing (especially these last few years) has been totally anxiety related (along with its underliers). Anxiety can significantly inhibit us in many ways; and, again, as someone who has an intimate relationship with anxiety- I want to create something new and unique to help those in struggle. Both human and canine.

So, keep your eyes peeled for this. It'll release soon.

Big love to all of you... your dogs... your children... and your anxiety.